We're back!

The fried egg institute has been closed for a while, we had to go underground to escape detection, the landscape institute had planted a mole within our network of devoted followers.

We singled out the infiltrator and sent them to site without a hard hat or steel toe caps, needless to say they are no longer with us.

Keep a look out for our up and coming special on the PATHWAY TO CHARTERSHIP! We know you have all been having a great time filling in repetitive dull information and missing your KEY DATES!

Banging your head against a brick wall

Sorry for the slight delay in design mind food, we at the FEI have been a little busy going out and enjoying ourselves. Anyway, this image was sent into us by one of you. It has nothing to do with good design, in fact this image belongs at the other end of the scale, quite close to shitesville. The institute, who possess an immeasurable flair for all things boring and unimaginative have an image of a brick wall on the website......hmmmmm stretcher bond, one of my all time favourite brick configurations!

Design something good, you retard.

Next week we shall be highlighting some inspiring mind food for all you designers. No adverts for children’s play equipment, no useless faxes from someone you don't know telling you they like marmite or what the last CD they bought was. God I hate that bit in Landscape Design but you always find yourself reading it out of sheer desperation, go on, admit it, you do.

Landscape (design) magazine should realise that disappointment is the only emotion they and their readers will experience when anyone tries this hard to be cool.

Pure design filth for you depraved animals, if you have something you would like to send to me be it a sketch, a photo or some mobile phone clips of your last dogging experience then send them to -

friedeggpresident@hotmail.co.uk

In the words of Hunter S Thomson "You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax - This won't hurt."

PPE, EXAM TIME, EYES DOWN, NO CHEATING

For those of you getting ready to sit the most pointless exam ever devised, good luck. If you fail there is no way you can re-sit it. The LI have come to realise that the 3 hour written paper is complete nonsense. Regurgitate, write down and then sit the oral! No wonder the landscape degree courses aren't getting the numbers they used to. Anyway the written exam has been axed. Those of you who missed this golden opportunity to waste your summer revising can look forward to following the professional pathway to nowhere. Follow the yellow brick road more like, click your site boots three times and flying LI monkeys will appear and carry you off to a secret room where you are interrogated by the institute president and then given an oral!

By the way has anyone else been sent a letter from the LI offering to pay you £100 to go to a discussion session? Another good use of our subscription fees! Is our institute so terrible that they have to PAY us to go and talk about it? Looks like the LI have already answered that one for us!

LANDSCAPE ARCHITECTS AND THE ENERGY CRISIS

20% of the UK's energy comes from nuclear reactors. They are unpopular due to safety issues and the radioactive waste they produce.
Wind turbines are very ugly, but a good source of income for landscape architects involved in landscape & visual impact assessments.
Burning fossil fuels is slightly moronic if you think about it.
Hydro power relies on rainfall and building dams, enough said.

Why don't we build large off sea wind farms?
Who cares if its ugly, you can't see it.
It's always windy out at sea, trust me, I used to be a sailor.
WIND TURBINES INLAND ARE AN EYESORE, A PUSS FILLED SCAB ON THE COUNTRYSIDE.

A governmant official stated "We are all going to die soon, just like the dinosaurs so lets make lots of money while we can, nuclear power is a good source of employment in this country and the actual power stations only cost £2 billion to built, a bargain. I love science, it's fun."

This is a great day for Landscape Architects, today we launch the Fried Egg Institute, landscape counter culture. Post a comment, join up or ignore it as utter crap, the choice is yours.

The institute spends (wastes?) a lot of time and money trying to reinvent itself as hip and groovy and its all funded by us! Mind you the capital invested on the new logo was money well spent, it has a real presence and dominance, just like a grease stain on your beige corduroys.